Tips for writing a eulogy.

A eulogy is the tribute which is given to honour someone's life. Usually, a family member or close friend is asked to do this, and there may be more than one tribute in order to cover different aspects of the person's life.

You can tell stories from your heart that really speak about the personality and the life your loved one. There is no right or wrong way to do a eulogy.

Subjects to cover in a eulogy:

Childhood and school days;
Family life; parents, siblings, marriage, children and grandchildren;
Their first job and following career;
Personal qualities;
Family life, annual holidays, tough times etc.;
Hobbies;
Life in retirement, travel, interests;
Different addresses over the years
Life highlights.

Complete the statements below and you'll jog memories, brighten the mood and maybe even surprise a few people.

His/her:

Nick name;
Favourite food;
Favourite holiday place;
Favourite pet;
Favourite sport;
Favourite music, song or singer;
Favourite TV show, movie or actor;
Favourite joke, saying or piece of advice;
Most embarrassing moment;
Their “happy place”;

It’s also important to talk about:

what you will miss most about them and;
what impact they have had on your life.

Can funeral ceremonies be held anywhere?

Almost anywhere. You can hold a funeral at a place of worship or one of the beautiful chapels that a lot of funeral homes have on their premises. Another option is to hold the entire service as a graveside service.

A funeral service can also be held at a family residence, or it might be possible to arrange for it at a favourite place, such as a beach, garden or golf club.

Tell your funeral director about your thoughts and they'll be able to help you arrange something truly special.

Can I participate in a funeral ceremony?

Yes. I encourage families to participate in a funeral service. For example you can form a guard of honour, deliver a eulogy, decorate the coffin, or light a candle. Participating in the funeral allows you to express your feelings more meaningfully and will give the service a more personal touch. Your family and friends can also participate by coming up during the reflection period to place rosemary on the coffin.

Maybe you have a friend or family member who would like to sing as the coffin is brought in to the chapel. Friends and family members can also do readings at ceremonies. These are pieces of text (not necessarily religious) that mean something to them and to their loved one.

But the best way to have people participate is to stand up and tell some stories about fantastic memories they have of the deceased. Stories that bring their character to life and put some smiles on peoples faces.

Where can you scatter ashes?

Once you have made the decision to have your loved one cremated, there are some important considerations you need to make around selecting their final resting place.

What to do with loved one’s ashes

Once your loved one has been cremated, there are a few things you can do with their remains. Firstly, it’s worth noting you don’t need to do anything with their ashes if you’d prefer to keep them. You can choose not to scatter them and keep them at yours or a loved one’s home.

For an alternative option, some families choose to keep remains at a permanent memorial, providing friends and family a physical place to pay their respects. This fixed location ultimately serves as a destination to visit, commemorate and celebrate your loved one’s life.

Your loved one’s ashes don’t have to stay together either. Families can choose to split the ashes of the deceased among the wider family, where the individual families can choose what they want to do with them. This can assist with the grieving process by offering everyone in the family a chance to remember the life of the departed the way they wish.

Where can you spread ashes?

Some families choose to scatter their loved one’s remains in locations that reminds them of that special person. There are restrictions around where you can and can’t scatter your loved one’s ashes depending on who owns the land, so always look into receiving permission first from the owner or person in charge.

Purslowe & Chipper Funerals can help with sourcing a permanent memorial for your loved one’s final resting place, or with managing the logistics around obtaining permission to scatter their ashes.

Frequently asked questions

Despite cremation typically being more popular than burials in Australia, there are still many questions around what’s involved and what happens after. Below are some of the most frequently asked questions I get asked:

Can human ashes be mailed? Technically yes, but many shipping and postal services don’t always allow it. It’s best to check with your chosen service to see if they allow this.
Where can I scatter ashes? You can either keep the ashes in a decorative, sealed urn, bury them in a small plot or memorial site, or scatter them at a special location chosen by you or your loved one. However, you will need to ask for permission if your chosen location is on public or private property.
Can I scatter ashes anywhere? You can scatter your loved one’s ashes in public, but in most cases, you will need to obtain permission from the local council. If it’s on private land, then you’ll need to obtain permission from the owner. If you own the land yourself, then the decision is entirely yours.
Can you scatter ashes in the ocean? Yes, ashes can be scattered at both private and public beaches and oceans. However, you will need to obtain permission from the local council or governing body before you do this.
Can you take ashes on a plane? Most domestic and international flights will allow you to take ashes on flights. Get in touch with one of our experienced funeral directors for advice on what you will need to do. Otherwise, reach out to the airline you’re travelling with to ask them about their policies.
Can you turn ashes into diamonds? Memorial diamonds are diamonds created from ashes. A number of businesses offer this service and can be found online.